Driving Ambition

I have no right leg save a largely unresponsive mechanical one, yet I drive a car, and not by using hand controls.  How am I doing it?*

I have a removable left-foot gas pedal.

I have two people to thank for this:  my true love, obviously, since it was his 2000 Subaru Forester that he allowed to be cut up a little bit for the pedal's base to be installed, and my excellent sister who paid for it.  It only cost around $350 for the whole thing, parts and installation included, but what with one thing and another, we just didn't have it six months after my leg came off, and it would have been a long time before we could have afforded this without her help.  So thank you, Lynn!  I know we rarely communicate in any way anymore, but every time I drive, I think of you, with gratitude.

Here's what it looks like when it's not set up for use:

Isn't this clever?  The flange on the left with sandpaper glued on for traction is the pedal my left foot pushes when I drive.  This is attached via the crosspiece to that arm with the wheel on the end.  This wheel goes in front of the built-in gas pedal.  When I push on my pedal with my left foot, it applies pressure on the built-in pedal through that arm, and the wheel allows that arm to move up and down as the gas pedal moves back and forth under that pressure without much friction.  In front of that arm is another flange, a stationary flange.  While I drive, I rest my fake foot against that.  Because it is stationary, and because it stands out somewhat from the built-in gas pedal, even if I have some kind of spasm that makes me put pressure on the flange through my mechanical leg, the car will not accelerate.

This is the base plate into which this apparatus snaps:

Here's that plate viewed closer.

Notice how rusty it is after only two and a half years.  This is as much a measure of New England weather as anything else.  It's very wet here, as I've written many times, and in winter the roads get heavily salted.  Water and salt on the roads make for accelerated rusting of all our automobile underbellies, and water and salt on the bottoms of shoes and boots don't do nice things to parts like this.  However, as bad as it looks, it seems to be structurally sound.

You see those evenly cut slots running along the front?  The removable unit has little metal feet that snap into those slots.  This is what the unit looks like snapped into place:

Notice how the sandpaper-covered flange is parallel to the stationary flange.  This degree of verticality is the proper starting position.  Notice also how the car's built-in brake pedal hangs down completely unimpeded between my gas pedal and the built-in gas pedal.  Just as I once operated it with the same right foot with which I operated the built-in gas pedal, so I now operate it with the same left foot I use to operate the accelerator via my little pop-in gadget.

When I want to drive, I approach the driver's seat and shift all my weight over to my organic leg.  I lift my prosthetic leg up, hop right up so that the car doorway is touching my left calf, and stick my prosthetic leg in, positioning the foot as closely as I can to the stationary flange.

When I've gotten it as close as I can, I sit down and adjust the position of the prosthetic so that it is comfortable.  When I first started doing this, I had gotten so fat sitting around and eating, and my socket was so tall, that I couldn't sit in the driver's seat with my pants zipped up, so I had to put the seat all the way back and kind of lie down when I first got into the car (and to get out), unzip my pants, and then move the seat to an upright position.  Then the socket lip stabbed me in the gut the whole time I was driving.  I think it helped me tighten my abs.  Although I am tall, I am stocky, not leggy, so all this made it difficult for me to get close enough to the pedals to exert enough force.  It also made it difficult for me to breathe.  It also embarrassed the hell out of me.  Fortunately, these problems evaporated when I got my socket trimmed down a bit at my next fitting (because it really was too tall) and when some of my recently acquired belly fat melted away once I started getting off my ass more. 

Understand that I am hardly free of belly fat now.  There is not now, nor has there ever been, nor do I expect there ever will be anything like a sixpack anywhere on my body.  But things just got rather amplified while I was less active for those several months which included a few major holidays known for especially naughty foods which people kept sending me for cheering up presents, and I'm a compulsive baker on top of that, and baking in a wheelchair is not challenging if the only thing "wrong" with you is that you're missing a leg.  But I digress.

This is what the prosthetic leg looks like when I have it comfortably and safely positioned:

Just to give you the full idea of how things are when I'm all the way in and driving, this is my left foot operating the brake:

As you can see, I tend to lean my foot from the heel on the crossbar while I do this.  It doesn't interfere, though, and it is strong and firmly in place.

To remove the foot pedal, all I have to do is pull up on a ring which is linked to all those little metal feet hooked into all those slots in the floorboard.  This shifts the feet so that they slide to one side, so all I have to do is pull straight up and the whole thing comes out.

Because of all the rust, much of which appeared within only a few months of installation of the unit, sometimes this ring, just an ordinary, cheap key ring already coming apart but easily replaceable, does not function.  My Brilliant Engineer Boyfriend (aka my true love) figured out that all it takes to change this is one quick, very gentle tap on the black, rectangular cover over the crossbeam with a sledgehammer we keep in the car for this purpose.  Observe:

Usually it just takes one light tap at this angle, and then it comes right out.

Mostly, this has been a great gadget for me.  It's simple, it's straightforward, and it's proven a very nondisruptive adaptation.  However, I have had some issues:

1.  First, although I was told of the existence and complete ordinariness of such a device, it was extremely difficult for me to find someone who could install it.  All adaptive driving devices installed in cars operating in the U.S. must be approved by the United States Department of Transportation (DOT).  All installers must have special licenses.  Joe at the gas station on the corner cannot do this, even if he rebuilt your car practically from scratch after that last accident you were in.  That is, he cannot do it unless he is specially licensed.  And you know what else?  As clever and honest as he is, chances are he doesn't know anybody who is licensed to do this, either.  Likewise, the mechanics at the dealership where you bought your car are probably not licensed to perform this service, and the chances are that no one there will know where you can go for it, either.

My prosthetist had given me the name of a place in New Hampshire which does a lot of this sort of thing.  The week I called, their website contact form didn't work, their e-mail server was hosed, and they didn't get my phone messages for a week, by which time I'd gone elsewhere.

I went to four different state agencies before someone at a volunteer organization whose name and phone number I've temporarily mislaid (sorry! I'll find it and post it here someday!) read to me from a list over the phone, which list included one place near me, New England Wheels in Billerica, MA.  So that's where we went.

As it happens, my device is made by a company called Mobility Products and Design.  Another company which makes similar devices is DriveMaster.  If you go to either of their websites, it is probable that you will be able to find a dealer/installer near you.  I can't remember why I didn't do this myself.

2.  When I called New England Wheels, I was assured that this product was very easy to use and I would not be on my knees wallowing in snow in the winter trying to get the device in and out.  This is not quite true, especially since rust and that fraying key ring have had their way.  Still, it's really not that big a deal.  I have gotten used to it.

3.  The first time this was installed could easily have cost me my life.  Regard the picture of the pedal on the car seat at the top of this post.  You see that silvery bar poking out of the crossbeam on the lefthand side?  The incompetent who installed the first one of these not only cut unnecessary holes in the carpet and floorboards of the car, he also thought this little silvery bar should be shaved flat on one side.  We have no idea why.  The result of this, however, was that one day while I still hadn't been doing this very long, I accidentally slammed on the gas pedal instead of the brake and the whole thing broke.  The pedal was pushed flat up against the floor of the car, couldn't spring back, and had no effect on the built-in accelerator pedal.  If I had been on the freeway going 55 mph, I'd be dead now.  Fortunately, I was just leaving the parking lot at Whole Foods.  My boss came out of the store and drove me home, while the marketing director for the store followed him so she could drive him back.  (That kind of helpfulness was typical of my experience of my coworkers at Whole Foods, by the way.  I met some really, really nice people working there.)

New England Wheels replaced the unit with no charge, of course, and the guy in charge supervised the replacement personally.  I am lucky to be alive; they are lucky still to be in business.  And I would probably go back if I had such a need again.  However, if this ever happens, my Brilliant Engineer Boyfriend will be watching over the procedure with steely, detail-oriented eyes.

4. Even when not improperly installed, these pedals are made to give instead of break when tremendous force is applied.  Tremendous force can happen, I discovered one day at Jiffy Lube when I couldn't find the sledgehammer and couldn't get the pedal out of its base, when a strong man doesn't quite understand how this works and slams on the wrong pedal.  However, when that happens, the unit is not always completely incapacitated, and you notice it immediately, as soon as you try to leave the parking lot.  When it happened to my car, I was able to drive home with it the way it was, but I was freaked out.  My Brilliant Engineer Boyfriend examined the equipment and explained how to fix it.

This is an allen wrench:

It now lives in our glove compartment.  As you can see, the allen wrench consists of hexagonal bars in different diameter sizes.

These are the tightening screws on my gas pedal:

Perhaps you can see that they have hexagonal notches.  When someone who doesn't understand how my foot pedal works or isn't paying attention when he uses it applies so much force to it that he lessens its effectiveness, what we have to do is reposition the gas pedal so that it is properly upright and then tighten these screws to hold it in that place.  Barring huge amounts of force or other abnormal problems, it should hold perfectly well indefinitely.

5.  For most people to whom I've listened on this subject, the learning curve has proven steep on this gadget.  We get to a point after many years of driving where the motions are as automatic as scratching our noses.  Doing it from a whole other side, with the pedal order reversed and everything, can be a challenging thing to reprogram in ourselves.  It was especially challenging for me, because I am dyslexic, and situations of high stress do not improve this condition.  The first time I took a driving test, back when I was sixteen and still had all my original parts, I almost flunked because of hand signals given for turning.  I've been using those signals all my life, as long as I've cycled.  But under the pressure of my first driving test ever, I got left and right mixed up.  You can imagine how the stress of giving up a leg, having to learn a new way to drive, having to do it in a car which doesn't belong to me and which I can't afford to replace, and having to do it while so fat my own pants were suffocating me might not combine to facilitate my learning to go with the left foot on the left pedal and stop with left foot on the pedal still in the middle but now to the right of the "go" pedal.

So why didn't I get hand controls?  Oh, like that would be better.  Listen, I am the kind of person likely to run a car I'm driving into a tree or opposite lanes of traffic while changing the station on the radio.  The less I do with my hands while driving, the better for all of us.  Also, I believe that hand controls are not only far more expensive than $350 to purchase and install, but that they are not easily removable at will.  (I might be mistaken.  Shout out if you have some so we'll all know.)  Some hand control systems can be removed without leaving a trace, which is good if you want to sell your car to someone who doesn't need hand controls.  But I don't think I can use hand controls safely.  Still, since this is not my car, and since I will certainly never be the only or main person driving it, it was important to me that equipment adapting it for my use be removable and as unobtrusive as possible, and the little base plate really shouldn't pose that much of a devaluation of the vehicle all by itself.

My Brilliant Engineer Boyfriend was very patient with me.  He took me to a business park parking lot and let me drive around very badly, cry, scream at him, etc., until I became competent at slow speeds.  Gradually I worked up confidence and competence, and yet he has been very supportive and very generous with the car this whole time.  It helps that we are insured, but still, this is the only car we have, and he took a big risk.  I have never been a good driver even under the most congenial circumstances, though I have become a very careful driver.  His trust in me and faith that I could conquer this skillset are things I won't forget in a hurry.

In spite of all the issues I've encountered, I am very satisfied with this gadget, and so is my Brilliant Engineer Boyfriend.  It's simple, it's generally convenient for both of us, it's unobtrusive, and though it's taken me a very long time to get used to driving this way to the point where I feel comfortable in most situations**, I'm still happy with this choice and would recommend it to others enthusiastically.  I would just also make sure they knew about all these issues.  I would also strongly urge others to thoroughly learn and practice the system in parking lots, like I did, until its use has become virtually reflexive and to test out the limits of the equipment in some similarly safe location or slowly, over quiet roads, before once again venturing into high-speed situations or areas with lots of moving targets.

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* This is a paraphrase from one of my all-time favorite animated television series, The Tick.  In The Tick, two characters named The Human Ton and Handy appear to wreak villainy from time to time, in concert with other criminals.  The Human Ton is an enormous and not intellectually proficient individual.  He wears a nefarious hand puppet named Handy who clearly has a mind of his own, a keener mind than The Human Ton's, and at one point says something like, "He's eating, but I'm talking.  How are we doing it?"

It's okay if you don't know why I think this is funny.  Just go rent the DVDs (and make sure you rent the animated series, because that's the one with Handy and The Human Ton) and you'll see why I do.  Maybe, anyway.

(back up)

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** Situations in which I am not comfortable include but are not limited to the occasional crazy freeway we have around here where you exit at high speeds from the LEFT LANE and then maybe merge onto other freeways in the LEFT LANE.  (JHC, WHOSE INSANE IDEA WAS THAT, ANYWAY???)  Sometimes I drive around on our roads here with all their potholes, their ridiculously insufficient signage, and then complications like left-lane onramps, and I wonder why there aren't more amputees.

(back up)

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Final note: 

As I have mentioned elsewhere, one of the few things that ever makes me feel properly disabled is the fact that I can't just sit in any car and drive it, not even any automatic transmission car.  While I was researching life after amputation, while I was still considering amputation as still just an option to which I might have to resort if I wanted to keep my life, I ran across a very interesting item, but when I went to investigate it six months later, the site was gone and I could find no reference to the item anywhere.  It was some sort of kit that purported to allow the user to drive any kind of rental car, automatic or standard, using these parts that could be temporarily screwed on and then removed without a trace.  Brilliant Engineer Boyfriend thought it looked a little squirrely, and I don't know if the product had DOT approval.  However, it was a great idea and it would really make a difference in many people's lives if it existed.  If you have heard of such a device, especially one that is safe, functional, and DOT approved, I would love to hear about it, and so would many of my readers.

Comments

[Snoskred]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with the world. It is something really important, I think.

I'm trying to visit as many of the NaBloPoMo blogs as I can and I thought I'd say hi, I liked your blog.. :) So much so in fact I have added you to my google reader, so when you post I'll be notified and reading what you have to say. Just so you know, because I don't think google reader tells blog owners that.

[Connie Kuusisto]

Thank you, Sara, for sharing this post with us for use in the Disability Blog Carnival #5. It's a pleasure to "meet" you online. The carnival is due to be posted on Dec. 14 at www.planet-of-the-blind.com

See you there!

[Sara]

Hey, Connie, nice to see you here. What's funny about this is that until you posted this comment, it never occurred to me that this would have anything to do with the next carnival, which I seem to remember is supposed to be about disabled travel. But, duh, of course driving is a form of travel! It's just such a quotidian function that I never considered it in that light.

It's cool that you see it that way, though. Driving is one of the first concerns of anyone who has to give up his or her driving foot/leg, so publicizing different tools and techniques in whatever context can be very useful to lots of people. Thanks so much for helping, and for organizing the next carnival.

[Amnon]

I'm researching left-foot gas pedals on-line right now, and I think I found something that may be similar to the removable kit you once saw:
http://www.plfa.org/index.html
and another one:
http://www.fds-sys.com/foot.html

[Sara]

Thank you, Amnon. I have seen one of these (the first one) before. What I have not seen is any indication that either has been approved by the U. S. Department of Transportation. Do you know anything about that?

[Amnon]

No, Sorry.