...the day after tomorrow. I am going to my niece's wedding in Southern California. Consequently, comments left on this site between Wednesday night and Monday morning will not be immediately approved and posted.
Please don't take it personally. Please don't fear that I have blocked you on some whim -- or that I have up and croaked. Please simply understand that I live a laptop-free lifestyle, and happily.
This will be the first time I'll have gotten on a plane in 12 years. I have already found out that I can take my crochet hook and my little gold stork scissors on the plane, but not the tiny Swiss Army knife that hangs off my keychain, not any size Swiss Army knife at all. Now that's some negative branding!
I have also discovered, to my great joy, that I will not have to take off my leg for examination. Apparently, they will be able to discern my bomblessness just by looking, feeling up my prosthetic, and sniffing it with some machine. This means I won't have to wear a skirt to avoid complicated disrobing maneuvers. This in turn means I won't have to sit on a plane for five hours (or however long it takes) with my chubby fleshy left thigh sealing itself with sweat and heat to the textured plastic exterior of the frame encasing my suction socket on the right.
Yay. Verily.
See you on the other side. Meanwhile, please enjoy this view from yesterday's picnic.
Where in SoCal will you be??
Note about the plane: I would still wear a skirt if I were you. You will (most likely) be asked to give access to the socket of your leg for swabbing with a special tool that detects explosives. In my experience this usually means dropping my pants (if I am wearing them) or lifting up my skirt. I find the skirt lifting to be much less embarrassing and invasive. Of course you get to do all of this disrobing in a private closet (read: janitor's closet).
Another note: I wouldn't bring any scissors or crochet hooks that you are fond of. I've known TSA agents (the more anal ones) to arbitrarily confiscate such items even though they are technically allowed on the plane.
On another topic: I'll be in Boston next week (yay!) and would very much like to meet up with you. Hey, I'll be flying over on Monday morning from LAX--perhaps we'll meet up at a security checkpoint?? I would love to meet up for coffee or lunch. We'll be staying in the Beacon Hill area and are hoping for a daytrip to the Concord area. Any advice on a charming place for a meetup that's not too distant from public transport (we won't be renting a car)?
Posted by: jana | September 04, 2007 at 01:11 PM
Oh, rats. And I was so looking forward to showing my stork scissors the west coast. ;)
What happens when they confiscate stuff? Do you get to collect it when you get home, or is it gone forever?
Do you think a pair of wide-legged walking shorts, whose legs I can hike up pretty easily, will suffice? It's what I was planning on.
I will reply to the rest in e-mail. Thank you so much for your comments, though, and yes, I'd love to meet up with you next week.
Posted by: Sara | September 04, 2007 at 01:24 PM
Confiscated stuff: gone forever. :(
Or sometimes you can take the option of checking your carry-on as regular luggage so that you don't have access to the confiscated stuff during the flight.
Posted by: jana | September 04, 2007 at 01:48 PM
Brilliant Engineer Boyfriend (My True Love) has also made a typically brilliant suggestion. He says I should bring along a padded, preaddressed envelope with lots of postage, and anything they threaten to confiscate I can just stick in the envelope, then take it outside and mail it to myself, then come back and get in line again without the offending item(s).
Meanwhile, I shall protect my stork scissors by only bringing nail clippers. They can cut through worsted if they have to.
Thanks again for your helpful comments!
Posted by: Sara | September 05, 2007 at 08:37 AM