Death Notice

MR. COFFEE, age 6, died peacefully in his sleep at his home in Concord, Massachusetts.   Death is estimated to have occurred sometime in the early hours of this morning.  Cause of death was a complication of the heating element, which apparently had been on a long decline.

"I can't believe he's gone," wept Sara, his housemate.  "Every morning he was always there, cheerfully going about his work, making everyone who saw him happy for the whole day.  And though we're all surprised he lasted this long, it's still a shock.  He seemed just fine yesterday."

Interment will be private.  Mourners are asked not to send flowers but instead to make donations to their local food banks.

"He was so generous," Sara continued.  "It's what he would have wanted, especially now, with winter and the holidays coming on."

Mr. Coffee also leaves behind another housemate, who declined to be interviewed.

Comments

[Bipolarlawyercook]

My deepest condolences to you and your caffeine-withdrawal headache.

[Sara]

Oh, thank you. Fortunately, I was able to stave off the headache with judicious applications of Constant Comment, but now my tummy is upset.

And then a miracle happened. My true love came home and, while we were talking about plans for tomorrow, idly flicked the on-off switch (as I had left the corpse where it had expired for now, full of water and coffee and still plugged in). And you know what? It somehow woke up and brewed a pot of coffee, probably its last.

But that was a miracle, and we do not expect a repetition in the morning. I may have to beatify this particular coffee maker, though. But with my Jewish background and all, I'm just not sure how one goes about such things.

[TheAmpuT]

Donations to local food banks?? Shouldn't we be sending Peet's (preferably) or Starbucks cards???

[alphabitch]

I live in utter fear of my elderly espresso maker (Herr Krups, I call him) one day meeting his, er, maker. Quite a few years ago, after many years of uncomplaining daily service, steam started escaping from his head gasket. He cheerfully continued to make coffee, but I pre-emptively took him apart and cleaned him. Tried to find a replacement gasket, but they don't make this exact model any more. You can still find the replacement parts, but a new coffeemaker might be cheaper. He is in semi-retirement now, only required to make coffee on weekends; I use the French press pot for daily coffee.

My condolences.

[Sara]

AmpuT, I was just thinking about how completely spoiled I am for, like, the eight-millionth time. I remember when I was so poor that I had no means of making anything but instant coffee, which was a prohibitively expensive luxury that would not yield equivalent pleasure, so I made a lot of tea. Tea was cheap and only needed a pot to boil water.

When I was impoverished in Alaska, all I had to cook on was a Boy Scout camping cookset that I had somehow inherited from my brother. (I think my father left it behind after we hiked the Chilkoot Trail -- well, half of it, anyway; another story for another day.) Coffee was out of the question. In fact, at first, so was tea; all I had was a box of Cranberry Cove that someone had left behind in the furniture-less apartment where I landed.

So not having coffee on demand in my own space always brings back memories. Other memories from that time include eating elbow macaroni three times a day every day for weeks at a time, and that makes me think of food banks, which didn't exist most places I lived before the late '80s.

Alphabitch, a miracle has happened. I don't know if it is my true love's magic healing fingers (he is a certified massage practitioner, among his many other winning attributes) or if it's a Veteran's Day miracle, but the damn thing is working again this morning. We still have to interview replacements this afternoon, because it's clear we don't have long and, as you say, further repairs may not be possible.

It took us a long, long time to find this particular coffee maker. It is the very first coffee maker I have ever owned whose carafe didn't dribble at all, so we will be keeping the carafe in any case. It is a 12-cupper, and it cost less than $40. We were in the midst of our search to replace its predecessor, the worst, most dribblingest coffeemaker we'd ever had, when my true love found this one at Building 19½, which only sells closeouts, overstocks and the like. We regret to this day that he didn't buy two.

[Michelle]

Looks like you have yourself a future saint on your hands (not sure if I mean Mr Coffee or Mr True Love).

Wait do saints need to be animate? And Catholic?

Never remember all those arcane rules....

[Sara]

Among goodness knows what other requirements, I do know that saints have to commit three miracles. I think they have to do them after they've already died, but I'm not sure about that one, and I'm also under the impression that failure of the corpse to decay counts as one.

Please note that I only know they have to commit three miracles from the truly wonderful movie The Third Miracle starring Ed Harris and directed by Agnieszka Holland.

[laurie]

My most sincere condolences.

There was a time in my relationship when I used to say to my partner, "if we split up, I get the dog and the coffee maker."

I was very serious.

The coffee maker and the dog have both since passed on and I grieved them both (still grieving the dog, the coffee maker has been adequately replaced). The relationship with the man has survived them both.

And I hear you on the food bank front. There was a time when I worked out in British Columbia, when popcorn counted for several meals at the end of every month.

[Elizabeth]

I've heard about americans and the emotional coffee connection - wow! I guess I am sorry such an important element of your daily nesting is gone - will he be replaced (one hopes so in at least the post thanksgiving sales?). I have confidence you can face this adversity and keep going (seriously, exactly how much coffee do you drink?)

[Sara]

Laurie, I am sorry about the loss of your coffee maker and your dog, but very happy the man has proven worth keeping. :)

Elizabeth, how many cups are there in a carafe? Twelve? Well then. One carafe = one serving, so I drink one serving of coffee per day. ;)