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  • a happy, ordinary, middle-aged, suburban woman who paints odd pictures, gardens in a straw hat, lives with the love of her life, is owned by one cat and the ghosts of several others, and walks a little funny 'cause she has a fake leg. She started this website because there's more to life than what we lose, and we need to let each other know what's possible, even if it's only a happy, ordinary life.

November 2011

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  • E-mail me at:

    sara at saraarts dot com

    Make sure the subject line of your correspondence is clear and specific. I do not open e-mails from strangers unless I can tell in advance that I want to read them.

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  • I Took The Handmade Pledge!

Good reads, grownups only

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Talking to that insensitive, idiot woman was just one more thing, in such a long list of things, that you did for Sara. I commend you for not hanging up on her. (However, I do hope that you did yell or at least snarl at her a bit.) Sara would have been so pleased, and, I think, amused, to know that someone got her corneas.

Erik Squires

Hi Aura,

Actually the young lady was very sensitive, the issue was a legal one. She had 100 questions which by law she had to ask and have answered explicitly, every single one, before they could accept them. They're trying to protect themselves, and make sure that the recipients don't suffer worse things than not receiving the transplants.

But still, it was just a sublimely ridiculous thing to go through, you know?


kathy a.

erik, that is comforting that a bit of sara is bringing relief and joy to a couple of people!

when my mother died last year, the tissue donation people called in the middle of the night with the million questions. it was bizarre. "was your mother a drug-using slut? did she travel?" in the end, she didn't pass the test, but the donor people were totally sweet; they consider us a donor family anyway, for giving it the old college try.


I remember being exhausted and a little outraged when all of the preemie-research groups started in on me after my daughters died. They would have sounded like normal, sane, rational questions to someone whose guts hadn't just been ripped out with grief.

To me, it sounded as if they were saying, "We're not going to rest until we determine that the girls died because of something you did." And maybe I did come off as a little bitter and hostile at times, although I did try my best to keep it together.

It must take a very strong person (I'm giving the benefit of the doubt and assuming it's not just a very oblivious person) to make that initial contact with the bereaved.

Ron Sullivan

It must take a very strong person ... to make that initial contact with the bereaved.

The high point of some jobs is the day you realize you don't have to do them forever. I'd bet there's a lot of churn in that one.

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