Today's word is
Okay, now I know Dictionary.com is spying on me. Whoa.
*****
Saturday, 11:22 p.m.
my brain feels thick,
turgid
how can it be both swollen
and empty
at the same time?
you send me information
things you need to read yourself
and can't
there's just so much
so much fear, so much information,
so much foreign language,
so much riding on the answer
and I can't even find my glasses
this morning, my coffee, my aspirin
and it's life and death
and it doesn't matter what I say
or learn as long as I try, but
I have to try, and
I can't
because my brain feels thick,
turgid,
swollen and empty
at the same time
swollen with everything in it
everything that I can't keep track of,
a swirling mess that throws
out a spark every once in awhile
from all that thick frenzy
empty of everything you need
everything that would console you,
every answer for the long road ahead
everything no one else knows either
it's not your fault
let's start from there
you didn't cause it
and my glasses are on my desk
it's a good second step
and my coffee is cold, but bracing
I can jump in from here
confident we won't drown yet
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